
Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could just cast love spell on your secret crush, or perhaps a friend or stranger you've admired from a far and have them do all the work of courting you? Attracting a quality person to give your heart to isn't easy and requires some strategic thinking, a little play and a lot of opening to surprises. First you have to commit to finding a partner and gather a support team that will help you achieve what you really want. Remember, love is a battlefield and only the smart survive.
What kind of "support" is needed? First, let's recognize that there's a psychology behind finding a partner that you want. How do you attract the right kind of people? In a world of over 2 billion people, how is Mr. or Mrs. Right going to notice you. It may be helpful to talk with a relationship advisor who is gifted at guiding people to finding the love that is right for them. This is a process and luck has nothing to do with it.
Here are tips to get your brain and body in the right place to meeting someone special.
Where to find someone
- Get Out of the House. Go to activities that involve other people; street fairs, town events, dog parks, fun runs, music concerts.
- Get Political. Attend rallies, classes, chamber of commerce meetings, and put your passion into action.
- Let's get Physical. It worked for Olivia Newton John. Join a gym, take up a kick boxing class, martial arts, yoga.
- Café Hopping. Try new public places like cafés populated with people reading, meeting, and greeting.
- Puppy Love. Don't be afraid to use your dog. Take her/him on new routes, doggie parks, walks & strike up conversation with that St. Bernard that is walking a cute owner.
- Do Good. Volunteer at an art museum, local food bank, shelter or hospital.
- Be a Champ. Watch the "big" game at a sports bar, even if you hate sports.
- Get Personal. Put your negative talk aside and go ahead and post an online ad about yourself.
- Go Oprah. Yes, start a book club and have your friends all invite one person to join (preferably singles).
- Get Sexy. Go take that salsa class you've always wanted to take and go ahead and wear that red dress while you are at it.
- Keep it Professional. Attend a business conference or seminar.
- Go Natural. Get out in nature on your own or join a hiking club, a local group that goes camping or a running group.
- Be the Hostess with the Mostess. Throw a cocktail soiree and have each of your friends bring one friend of both genders. Again, keep your goal in mind and ask that they are single and ready to mingle.
Be creative and then take action. Remember to have fun with this and ask for advice and help when you need it. Recent research shows that women who go out twice a week are much more likely to get married than those who don't. And women who go out 3 times a week are even more likely to meet a spouse. Going out can be as simple as eating dinner with friends or doing volunteer work. It's all up to you.
Things to do when you see someone who attracts you
- Smile. This is a simple but big in showing you're interested. Just Smile!
- Get their eye contact and keep it. Keep it longer.
- Use your body to say "hey, I'm open to having a conversation with you" .
- Make the first move. Wave, nod or go over and say "hi".
- Give a compliment. "That was is a great sweater on you". And while your at it, learn to take one.
- Ask a question. "Would you mind pointing me in the direction of the Broadway Street".
- Do anything to engage the interest of your target. Take notice of what this person seems like and approach accordingly.
- Find your strengths and use it. People tell you your laugh is contagious, so create a situation that will capitalize on it.
Sample things to say
"Your dog is really handsome"
"Do you know of a good café nearby?"
"I like your hat"
"Hi, how are you?"
How to act on your first few dates
Think about whipped cream. Everything should be light, fluffy and sweet:
- Be upbeat. Don't discuss your cat's diabetes.
- Be interesting. Mention today's headlines, the playoffs, or a book you're reading.
- Be easygoing. Take part in activities your date suggests.
- Be curious about your date. Ask about him or her and don't monopolize the conversation.
- Be careful about suggesting costly dates, if you don't know your date's finances.
- Monitor the flow. Are you doing all the calling between dates? Does he take days to return your emails? Assess how much mutual interest there is.
Talk it out
Like I said before, this is a process that requires some thoughtful prepping. There is value in talking to a professional relationship advisor who is well versed at helping people find the love they want. They give guidance on finding your soul mate, love advice, relationship advice, understanding men and everything in between. If love is what your searching for then it's time to get serious because what is more important then that? Get your game face on.